1
2012
How To Drink Liquor
Since I lost my drinking molars at some point: I am no longer able to binge drink like I used to. Gone are the days of chugging Apricot Brandy stolen from a friend’s dad’s liquor cabinet. I just can’t handle it like I did when I was 17.
I discovered somewhere along the line that most people don’t black out when drunk. At least, not regularly. And I have blacked out amnesia-style more times than I can account for. One time, at a wedding, I blacked out for only an hour and then came to while still at the wedding. It was like I had been in a different dimension. The drunk dimension.
So these days, I avoid shots and stick to beer OR wine. That’s right I said OR! That means NO MIXING, something I was also able to do as a teen. And when I say I “avoid” shots, I mean it- if I am being peer pressured to take a shot, I will dump that motherfucker out on a dark bar floor ASAP.
I want to share with you a wonderful discovery, however! It turns out liquor is still drinkable for me as long as it’s in a hot drink. Yes, hot toddies are my jam. I like a nice hot buttered cider with rum the most. I may start drinking Irish Coffees at some point. All I am saying is: the only way to drink liquor is from a hot mug.
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